Red
by Chocolatecatfish
Summary: Remembering him comes in flashbacks, and echoes, tell myself it's time now, gotta let go, but moving on from him isn't possible when I still see it all in my head, a burning red... Inspiration from Taylor Swift's Red lyrics, about Colonello and Lal in fragments of their memories, some I made up, the rest from the manga. [Plus I'm a sucker for happy endings :]


A/N: Hiya! First KHR ff so erm yeah thanks for reading :) Gotta give in to the fluffy plot bunnies once in a while :D

**Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! or Red by Taylor Swift**

XXX

_"Loving him was like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street. Faster than the wind passionate as sin ending so suddenly"_

It wasn't a question of love, loyalty or anything like that. "Colonello, you know I'll be demoted and you will be kicked out of the army if they find us, right?" she states more than asks, and Colonello just grins, apparently ignorant or uncaring. More likely the second. "It's not a crime for the higher-ranked to date a lower-ranked, is it, kora?" he pulls her in, his arm around her waist, capturing her, reeling her in. "I don't know," she shrugs, wrapping her arms around the male, lips curving into the tiniest of smiles that she revealed only around him. "Well, we'll be sparring in a while kora," he smiles too at seeing hers, and kisses her lightly, almost hesitantly at first, before the flickering candle flame rekindled into a blazing fire of passion. Sighing, she relaxed into his arms, giving in to him...

Footsteps interrupt them and before she knows it, she is falling backwards, out of his warm, warm arms, and a dagger appeared at her face just as another one of the commanders poked his head in to see her and Colonello locked in fighting stances, struggling to push daggers down each other's throats. Said commander ducks out quickly and shuts the door. Just like that, the moment is gone, and the two of them continue their sparring session as though it is what they have been doing all along.

XXX

_"Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall_  
_Like the colours in autumn so bright just before they lose it all"_

She looks around the room coldly, her brown-red eyes scanning the almost empty room in slight distaste. "Lal, what's with all these boxes, kora?" A certain blonde-haired Italian interrupts her thoughts and she turns, suddenly afraid of telling him, afraid of his reactions. _Stop being a coward, you're only scared of how his feelings toward will change,_ she mocks herself bitterly, and her eyes must have shown part of that as he stops, scanning her face worriedly. "Your emotions are too open," she tutors suddenly, turning to sit down on her bed, the only piece of furniture left in her otherwise clean and empty room. "Honestly, Lal, what's up, kora?" Ignoring her, he steps towards her, somehow managing to trip over a box and fall towards the bed, and her, caging her in as he landed on top of her, almost squashing her but extending his arms just in time on both sides of her head, his body hovering above hers. "Colonello," she warns, her tone laced with a dark warning. But the idiot, as usual, stays where he is, and she tries to flip him off to no avail. _When did he turn this strong?_ She wonders internally and sighs. "Lal, what's going on? Are you moving your room, kora?" his face shows concern, worry, and a slight betrayal flashes into his sky blue eyes. She nearly breaks down then, but moves her head to a side, refusing to look at him.

Moments pass but neither of them relents. Finally, Colonello sighs, and she feels warm lips touch the side of her neck, velvet soft and sending shocks of warmth into her body. She gasps involuntarily and finally, she lets the tears fall. How long has it been since she has cried? The warm drops of liquid slide down her cheek and he pauses. "You're leaving, aren't you, kora?" The silence hangs between them, thick and heavy, and she doesn't answer, her tears enough proof for him. She can't stop, doesn't want to stop, wants to be with him, but she knows she can't. He doesn't say anything either, but turns her head around, baby blue staring into brown-red, his gaze troubled, caring, worried and concerned all rolled into one.

She knows she will never escape, or forget, that gaze.

XXX

_"Losing him was blue like I've never known"_

"Nello, we have to stop this." Her stomach lurches painfully as she utters the words but she keeps herself together. "Why?" his lips continue nuzzling at her neck as she leans back against his chest, her head resting against his shoulder and his two long legs stretched out on either side of hers. She knows he is serious as he stops with those stupid 'kora's of his. "I'm leaving tomorrow, and I can't have anybody tying me down," her mask cracks as she says this, and a single tear slides down her cheek. He kisses away the tear, and she frowns. "So I'm a burden." The sudden words hang in the air, cold and painfully heavy, and she inhales sharply. "I don't mean it that way-" For the first time, her words are cut off as he gets up, his blue eyes icy. Towering over her- _When did her student get so tall?_ - his face is calm, cold, staring down at her as she looks up. "So be it then. Bye, Commander Mirch."

She sits there long after his footsteps fade, tears sliding down her face, unable to move, unable to forgive herself. "Why am I crying?" she whispers, dragging her hand over her face, but they don't stop, pooling onto her shirt, onto the floor. This is what she wanted, isn't it? _**Isn't it?**_ She so much as yells as herself, but nothing changes, and she sits there until the eyes run dry and she has cried herself to sleep.

The blonde Italian stands at the door, his face reflecting nothing more than an unaffected calm, even as he lifts her from the floor onto the bed, pulling the blankets over her and kissing her, butterfly light, on the lips, and leaving.

XXX

_"Missing him was dark gray all alone._ _Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met~"_

The hotel is fancy, a golden, glistening wonder. Expensive, too, but she doesn't bat an eyelid at the prices. The money from the missions were more than enough to cover it. Besides... Her hands twitch towards the picture of the two of them in her pocket, but she restrains herself. At least until she steps into the suite. "We'll be staying here for two nights," Reborn informs her simply, and she nods numbly, closing the door and sliding into a sitting position onto the floor, her back against the wall. She shuts her eyes briefly as the world spins around her. Already she is missing him, his honest smile, his goofy grins, his warm, comforting, cheering aura. The others were nothing like him, all awfully uptight or awfully irritating and weak, and she feels lost among them, knowing she is one of the weaker ones, different from them, with an actual life behind the masks and something to hold on to, to miss.

He didn't go to see her off when she left COMBUSIN.

She lies in bed, her eyes staring unseeingly at the ceiling while she misses him, wishing that he is there to hold her. She misses his warmth, his honesty, his mischief, his eyes, even his stupid 'kora's... _Let's just face it, you're miserable without him,_ she tells herself, snorting even while her eyes mist over and she wipes them roughly with the back of her hand. _It just wasn't fair,_ she wants to complain, but staring around the gigantic room, she doesn't have the heart to say it out.

"Lal? Lal Mirch?" It is the next day, at the breakfast table, and Lal blinks into life as Luce waves a hand in front of her face. The pregnant woman's eyes show worry and concern, but Lal shrugs it away and continues on her eggs and bacon. The last thing she needs is pity. "Is there somebody you miss?" Lal looks up, slightly alarmed, at the gently smiling pregnant woman as she places her hands on Lal's. There is nobody else in the dining room, the two of them being the only two up at 7am. "I suppose..." Lal gives in slightly. She isn't herself. Normally, she is quiet, but when spoken to, speaks with pride, conviction and confidence, and a smile. Four things that she sorely lacks at the moment. She rarely talks to other ladies too, but Luce is oddly comforting. "It'll be alright. If he loves you, he'll come around." Standing, Luce smiles and leaves the slightly stunned soon-to-be Rain Arcobaleno.

XXX

_"But loving him was red"_

Lal leans her head against the bedpost. The clock strikes midnight and she sighs, deeply, recalling the times she spent with him.

Flashback

_"Hey Lal! Any new rifles coming in? And hey, you're wearing a nice shirt!"_

_"Here comes the blundering idiot," she sighed and whacked him easily while her other hand threw the next rifle onto its assigned category's pile, distinguishing its characteristics just by feeling it._

_"Hey, that hurt!"_

_"Enough with being a wimp. Isn't it your lunchbreak now?" she demanded and he grinned, handing her a packed lunch._

_"Thought you might be up to work again, so I came to see you," his smile didn't lessen even as her face twitched, and she tossed the last knife into its pile and the two walked over to one of the trees dotting the vincity, plopping down and eating._

_"Why are you doing the grunt sorting, kora?" She stared at him, not due to the question, but due to the odd word or whatever it was at the end of it. "Kora?" she inquired and he grinned._

_"I like the word, kora," his eyes flashed mischievously as she rolled her eyes in despair. "Anyway, it's cute, kora! Just like Lal when she blushes, kora!" All that got him was a whack to the head and he fell apart laughing as she blushed furiously._ _"It's Japenese for 'hey'," he finally explained after he could gather himself together and stop laughing while her blush stayed stubbornly painted on her cheeks._

"He and his stupid kora," she snorts, lips twitching into a wry smile. Maybe she'll learn to cope, anyway, regardless. She must. Memories are good enough for her, and she sighs before finally falling into sleep.

XXX

_"Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you_  
_Memorising him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favourite song_  
_Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer"_

Up, up, up the mountain. Put one foot in front of the other, Lal keeps telling herself. It is mundane, easy exercise, and keeps all other thoughts out of her head. "Wait." Reborn halts, bringing the rest of the group to a stop at a platform on the mountain, and Lal raises an eyebrow. "Just how far do you intend on following us?" Reborn speaks what seems to be thin air, but Lal senses something stirring. "Che, busted, eh? Just as I thought, you're all an incredible bunch of people." She knows that voice, she realizes. That voice, of her stupid student, who materializes out of nowhere, and startles all the rest of them. _Are you on some sort of suicide mission?_ She wants to yell at him, shake him, throw him off the mountain for his stupidity, but instead she settles for shouting: "Colonello, what are you doing?!" "I'm going in your place, kora!" he exclaims almost happily, even though his eyes are dead serious and now she is really contemplating tossing him off the mountain. "I'll deal with him, you guys can go on first," Lal tells Reborn, who nods curtly and leads the rest of them up the mountain. He makes her seem weak, like a little girl that needs to be taken care of.

"What are you doing, saying that you're going in my place?!" she demands straight off, crossing her arms and trying her best to balance between her two impulses of kicking him off the mountain and hugging him close. Her eyes scan him, taking in his figure, his face, refreshing the crystal clear memory she already had of him. Damn, she missed him, but she refuses to show it, knowing that it is a sign of weakness. "Whatever you're doing isn't good for you, right?" he grins easily and she scowls. "It isn't this easy, Colonello. This isn't something you can interfere with. Go back to COMBUSIN, don't follow me," she turns away, exhaling slowly, trying to keep the quiver out of her voice. "Too late. I quit COMBUSIN." His voice is quiet, and she inhales sharply.

"Why?"

"To follow you." There he goes again with that crazy self-sacrifice again. He really is suicidal, right? "Just... Don't follow, okay?" She doesn't let him see her tears, but he seems to sense it anyway and moves closer. "Lal?" "I said, go back!" her last words turn snappish as she whirls around and slaps him. He doesn't try to stop her even though she knows that he can do that easily. It connects solidly and her palm flares up with pain. It lasts only for a second and the pain is gone, but her heart pangs, the tears falling involuntarily. He wipes away her tears using his fingers and holds her close, and she relaxes momentarily. _Thirty seconds, no more,_ she tells herself and after that I over, she shoves him away. He doesn't respond to that either, and she turns away, wiping away the tears herself.

"Go back, anywhere, Colonello. You shouldn't be here." She leaves after that, but he just stands there, watching her. His gaze burns into her back but she ignores it, trying to convince herself that he will follow her advice.

XXX

_"Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong"_

And there he is, suddenly, shoving her out of the way, shouting unintelligible things at her, and she falls, stunned and scared. More afraid than she had ever been all her life, on missions, or in wars. She isn't afraid of herself, more for her stupid, _**stupid**_ student who seemed to be hell bent on his suicide to save her. She sees him now, the bright light glowing around him as he pushes her some more, telling her to move, to get away. The light intensifies, and she begins to scramble away, too slow, too late. The light is a cold, sharp glare, and she watches in helpless despair as it engulfs her student, her lover, and she is bathed in the same, painful glow, and she screams, terrified, before the light swallows her whole and she is so, so cold and she feels so, so lonely. She wishes for his safety, regrets breaking it to him without explanation, so that he would at least try to contain himself and let her bear the burden. She doesn't want another to help her, least of all him. This is for her, her pain only, yet he nudges himself in and carries the weight with her, yet again.

"Won't you come with me, kora?" His baby, pudgy hands extends out, and the blue pacifier around his neck glows softly. She wipes away her tears and gives him a half-angry smile through the tears.

"Who'd want to do anything with you?" He smiles, and pats her on the shoulder with his chubby baby hand, and grins, the same grin she knew, hated and loved. Odd, isn't it?

"Heheh, just kidding. We probably won't be meeting each other again, kora." Turning, he steps away from her, and she does nothing except watch him as he drifts further and further away from her. "Be well! Quit being a tomboy and cure yourself of the curse quickly, kora." He doesn't look back as he says all this, and summons out his falcon. _I wish I could, Nello. But if I could this wouldn't be happening._ But she says nothing, just stands and stays silent. She wants to say something, anything, but no words come out of her lips. For the first time, Lal wishes she wasn't as strong as she was to be chosen as the Arcobaleno. But then she wouldn't have met him, and nothing would be. But then again, the two of them would never have gotten to anything in the end. She was such a failure. But she just smiles wryly through her tears, beneath her hood, and just watches him. It is odd how life works, and she has first-hand experience of this fact. Then he is off, soaring into the sky with his falcon, and she smiles up at the sky as he disappears into his own life.

XXX

_"Losing him was blue like I've never known"_

"I'll be alright, c'mon, kora, trust me." The radiation has affected him too, and he has started ageing, back to the crazy student that she used to know. They are sitting in another warehouse, her back against his chest, as he leans back against the wall, his blue eyes glimmering with a strange hope that was absent in hers, yet showing a half-concealed worry that deepened her anxiety. "Must you go?" she asks that question for what has to be the millionth time and he laughs and points out that fact. "You know I have to go even if I don't want to, kora, and I don't mind, kora," he turns her around and wraps his arms around her slim frame, kissing her lightly. "What if you die?" Her voice is like that of a child's, soft and hesitant, showing her true fear and worry for the first time, even to him. "I won't. I might not be like Skull, but I'm your student after all, kora, and I'm going with Mammon, or Viper, whatever he is. I'll be fine, kora!" he smiles, and kisses her again, this time deeply, and she responds to him, hoping desperately with every pull of his lips that he is right, and that she might be able to hold him again, feel his lips against hers again, feel his warmth around her again. _I don't know what I'll do without you,_ she tries to say, and he seems to understand as they break apart, both breathless, and he strokes her face lightly. "Don't worry so much, kora! I'll be back, kora!" That grin of his coaxes a smile from her, as usual, and she relaxes into his arms, the two of them falling asleep in the warehouse.

"So that's where the two of you have been," the yellow Arcobaleno's voice echoes throughout the room. "Shh... I don't want to wake her. It's time to go?" Colonello lifts Lal gently off and stands, tying his headcloth securely around his head. "Yeah... You don't want her to see you off?" the Mafia Assasin nods at Lal, and Colonello shakes his head, weariness suddenly showing on his usually cheery face. "I lied, Lal. I probably won't be coming back alive. Take care, okay?" "You're talking to a sleeping person, you know," Reborn points out helpfully and Colonello shakes his head ruefully. "Let's go then," Colonello smiles wryly and slings his rifle over his shoulder. He doesn't look back at the sleeping woman on the floor, who is deep in dreamless sleep while worrying about him.

A deafening silence. She doesn't try to break it, and neither does he, her in expected shock while he in polite sadness. It is real, his sadness, but he does not tell her that. The assassin leaves, quietly, while she sits at the table, anger and grief consuming her, leaving her an empty shell. "I told you not to go, you idiot," she whispers, her tears sliding down her cheek and staining the glossy photo of the two of them on her lap, smudging the hues and clouding up her vision. They don't stop, and she makes no move to stop them, the salty liquid leaving wet, hot trails down her face as they drip onto her lap and her hands.

XXX

_"Missing him was dark gray all alone_  
_Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met"_

She hates how easily those tears came, how weak she is becoming. Every night, she would wish, pray and hope that it was all a nightmare, something she could wake up from, and be back in her bunk at COMBUSIN, his arms wrapped around her and his lips against hers. Life is a nightmare itself without him, and she is drowning in the black vortex. He was her light, his smile showing her the way, keeping her sane. "Nello..." she whispers, shutting her eyes as the tears trickled onto her pillow. Gripping onto his headcloth, she falls asleep, curled up, alone and more lost than ever.

Sawada Tsunayoshi opened the box for her, the box that had the same camouflage print as Colonello's headcloth. Startled, the others don't do anything even as she grabs the pacifier, _**his**_ _pacifier,_ and runs off like a weakling to her room. She is grasping at straws, at things that are never meant to be, she knows, but she misses him.

"What a wreck I am," she mumbles to herself as she collapses onto her bed, knowing that she means it both physically and emotionally. She has taken in too much of the radiation and was heading to certain death, she knows that, but she is, at the same time, an empty shell, and she doesn't even know why she is still living, breathing and acting like she is still sane. Like the mask isn't cracking.

At night, she inhales his scent from his headcloth, and he is there with her, reminding her of his last day with her.

_Flashback_

_She woke up, sitting up, feeling something missing, feeling so very cold and so very alone. Rubbing warmth into her arms and blinking sleep out of her eyes, she wondered where the Blonde Italian is. "Nello?!" She jerked up almost immediately and can't remember anything except talking to him, inhaling his scent, relaxing into his warmth and now, he was gone. She got up, running towards the main center, but Reborn is already there waiting. "You're a tad bit too late," he informed her, and she collapsed onto the chair, leaning her forehead against the edge of table. "When did he leave?" she inquired, unable to keep the tremble out of her voice. "Not that, Lal. He's gone, and so is Viper." The calmly spoken words fell like bombs that explode in her mind, leaving a numb buzzing, the only thing she could hear. Colonello was... Gone?_

Forgetting him wasn't an option. It never was, she realizes. So many times she wanted to, she failed, and she isn't going to try now. Smiling almost drunkenly, she leans back and lets herself fall into the trap that so many had; the hunger for revenge for her lover, the anger that would kill, the sadness that engulfed her and turned her purpose into something tangible. _Kill his killer with my own hands, and aid others to bring down the organization that caused all this_. It could work, right?

XXX

_"But loving him was red, a burning red"_

_Flashback_

_"You should wear skirts more often, kora! It looks pretty, kora!" There he went again, constantly trying to make her wear more feminine clothes. This time, she had made an exception, and worn a skirt, seeing as it was her day off, and his. It still counted as wearing a skirt if she wore tights under it, right? "Honoured to have a date with a pretty lady today," he teased her and she blushed, shoving him as he grinned. "Let's just go," she turned and he followed, most likely watching her ass even as she walked in front._

_"Oi, Colonello, you're actually going on a date with the Spartan instructor?" Someone called from behind. She just_ _**knew**_ _this would happen, and gritting her teeth, was about to give whoever that unlucky soul was the most scathing scolding of his life, then give up on going out with him, but turned to see that man's face under Colonello's boot. "First off, she is not a Spartan instructor, and secondly, is there anything wrong woth her being a normal, absolutely gorgeous girl? Her life does not revolve around the military." It was the first time she had seen him so serious, without his 'kora's, to anybody other than her. Moving away, Colonello grinned at her and she couldn't keep herself from grinning back. "I'm not a Spartan instructor, huh? So shall we double the training menu?" she inquired shrewdly and he blinked. "Wait, Lal, kora! I didn't- Pfft..." he let out a puff of breath when he saw she was only joking and pulled her in for a kiss, totally uncaring about who was watching. "Honestly, such an irritating bastard," she sighed, blushing slightly as he wrapped his hand around hers, interlocking the fingers before running off with her in tow._

_"Nello, where are we going?" she demanded and he just grinned. "You'll see, kora! You'll like it, kora, I promise!" he was still grinning as the pair ran and ran, not breathless even after running for two hours straight. "We're here~" Colonello announced as he flung himself backwards onto the field of grass with an exuberant laugh, bringing her with him. Landing with an "oomf" but on Colonello, she found herself face-to-face with him, close enough for her to only need to lean a little closer before their lips met. She could feel herself smiling through it, and he smiled too, flinging her off him to land beside him on the grass lightly, as though she weighed nothing more than a doll. Tucking his arm under his head, she curled up next to him as though those actions were the most natural in the world, the two of them enjoying the peace for a while._ _The grass was slightly damp, but comfortably soft and fluffy, and the sky was a gorgeous shade of blue, like his eyes._

_"Did you mean it? I'm gorgeous?" she asked him after a few moments, keeping her eyes on the sky, blue framed by colonies of green as the leaves moved slightly in the wind. "Of course, kora! Lal is gorgeous, kora! Especially since she is_ _**my**_ _Lal, kora!" Earning a quick punch to his stomach, he just grinned as she sighed, exasperated, and sat up to face him properly. "Really, Nello, I'm gorgeous? Pretty?" "Oh, is our Lal insecure? Don't worry kora, you'll always be perfect to me, even if you're not, kora! You know what I mean, kora?"_ _he grinned and_ _an involuntary smile surfaces, quirking her lips up into a beautiful, wistful expression._

"Perfection, mmm... I'm far from that now, Nello. What to do?" she wonders out loud to herself in the empty room. Her life has a different meaning now, and she is, she admits, feeling slightly happier, if not distracted from her worries. But at night, she stays awake, trapped in her own memories and her own mind. Not that she really minded. It is nice to be able to drown in memories and dreams before waking and acting like things are normal and fine for her. Except for the fact that the dull ache in her heart keeps growing, she is fine. And the fact that she is going to die soon. Yup, that too.

Lal is convinced that she is turning into a masochist.

XXX

_"Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes_  
_Tell myself it's time now gotta let go_  
_But moving on from him isn't possible when I still see it all in my head_  
_A burning red"_

He is tormenting her everywhere, when she shuts her eyes, when she inhales, when she takes every single step, when she turns a corner, when she eats, when she drinks... There is no end to it, and it drives her crazy. When she shuts her eyes, she recalls the time when he holds her as she drifts off to sleep, his soft, steady breathing calming her even if she has too much in her mind. Inhaling reminds her of his scent, wrapping around her even as she sinks into worried, dreamless sleep. Walking and running reminds her of training him, of his odd persevering determination, of his honesty and willingness in everything he did. Turning a corner reminds her of how they first met, and his infuriating way of worming under her skin, nestling himself into her heart and not budging. When she eats, she is reminded by him bringing her lunch while she works, and drinking reminds her of the Sports Drinks he loves, and often brings and shares with her. She smiles, lips quirking up while her eyes remain slightly wistful.

_Flashback_ _COMBUSIN 1_

_I hate paperwork,_ _Lal decided as she took brisk, quick steps up the flight of stairs, her boots making slight noises as she flicked her long hair back over her shoulder. Turning the corner, she bumped straight into a blonde-haired male, but caught her balance almost immediately as she grabbed the wall. "Oops, sorry, hey!" he was still grinning, though, and she raised an eyebrow slightly. Anybody who met the "Spartan Coach" usually stammered out an apology before dashing away with his tail between his legs. In this case, it was mostly 'he', because she was the only female on campus usually. No females in their right mind would join COMBUSIN, and she was a gem that came along once every century or so. "You're pretty!" The first thing that bastard said after apologizing, was to call her pretty?! To say that Lal was pissed was an understatement. Nobody had hit on her as outright as this arrogant little- Calling him some rather uncalled for rude words, she punched him in the face, and he ducked. "Woah, that's dangerous there, hey!"_ _She stopped then and stared at him, combing him up and down. Moderately tall, moderately muscular, strangely good reflexes, and good looking. Sort of. "You have potential," she stated flatly, then punched him in the face before he could react. Her knuckles collided with his nose as he jerked backwards, lessening the impact but still enough for it to hurt. "Ow!" he exclaimed and she turned away, grinning. "Welcome to COMBUSIN, newbie," she heard someone introduce from behind her. "That was Commander Lal Mirch, and unless you want to die, I suppose you should try to get in her good books, cuz she's your first trainer..." That was all she heard as she turned the corner, away, paperwork safely in her hands. _

_He_ _**was**_ _one of the newbies, introduced to her batch by the Captain Commander. "Listen up, you lazy bastards, training starts after lunch, and unless you want to throw up, my suggestion is to eat less. Dismissed." She didn't say much, and it probably didn't impact them much, from the piles of food she saw on their plates later during lunch. Except for that particular blonde Italian (she learnt that from scanning through the applications of the new recruits), Colonello, apparently, they didn't take her seriously. "She's pretty," she overheard him saying to the others and she smirked as she heard it. That_ _**kid**_ _was going to get hell after trying to hit on her so blatantly to try to get into her good books. She wasn't even going to consider the fact that he meant it. There was no way anybody would say that about her in this campus, not after going theough her hands, especially considering that she was the Commander from Hell and she had trained most of the high-ranking soldiers on campus and had a nasty reputation as the "Bitch Trainer from Hell". Nobody liked her particularly. It was more of a grudging respect, if not a quivering fear._

_After lunch, the boys were thrown immediately into the deep, deep depths of hell. Figuratively, of course. She ran along with them, completing the course easily, while they huffed and puffed and lagged and struggled to catch up, where she picked them up and threw them in front._

_"First time I've seen any of the commanders running with us," Colonello commented rather breathlessly. Although he wasn't as weak as to be left behind,_ _he still needed a good bit of effort to complete the circuit."I'm not any regular commander. Do you see any other females here? Get moving you!" she barked out the last sentence to one of the lagging soldiers._

_At the end of it, the while group was exhausted, even Colonello, and Lal, barely out of breath, grinned devilishly. "Listen up! You have another 2 sets of that to complete, followed by another 5 sets of chain pushups, and the number will be determined by how long you take to complete this! Water break, 2 minutes, go!" she shouted, and there was a mad dash for water, while some of them just lay there, not even bothering to get up. Her eyes glinted at the sight of Colonello in the latter group. At least there was_ _**some**_ _intelligence in him. "Break over!" she yelled as her stopwatch beeped, signalling the end of break. Most of the guys didn't get their drink and she smirked. Damn, this was fun. _

_Half a year into the training, and he was still there, doggedly moving forward. One day after a particularly arduous bout of training, Lal announced that they would start their weaponry training the next day. "Listen up! Tomorrow you're doing weaponry training, and if any of you screw it up, I'll be arranging your execution and funeral personally, understand?" her eyes scanned the whole group, who nodded, half fearful and half excited._

_"Oi, Colonello, get your ass here," beckoning to said blonde, Lal turned_ _sharply, expecting him to follow her right on her heels. "You get special training," she informed him, smirking, when they reached a secluded corner behind the buildings, near the track, and he blinked, not understanding what she meant. "You're having personal training with me, starting tomorrow. I'm a weapons specialist, and I am_ _**not**_ _going to be the one training those pathetic fools there. It's another instructor. If you accept, get ready for hell. If not, well, have fun with the others." Completing that statement, she stood rather awkwardly and anxiously, waiting for his response. She didn't need to wait long before he answered without a smidgen of doubt. "I accept! It'll be fun, hey, commander Mirch?" he grinned, and she resisted the urge to face palm. He obviously didn't hear the 'hell' part._ _Oh well, too bad for him,_ _she grinned. Nobody had met up to her standards in a long time, and the last few had rejected, becuse they were all arrogant bastards who couldn't and refused to maximise their full potential just because it was a_ _**female**_ _commander that would be training them._

_Their first training went pretty well, as did the rest that followed. Living up to her standards, Lal trained him from an unrefined rookie to a master-class marksman with skills enough to rival her own. She had high expectations of him and he had exceeded them, which was rare. Soon, he could shoot off a round on his rifle in the dark and hit all targets by using his senses. The only thing he lacked was real time experience, something Lal provided by having fights with him every day, and he soon learnt to trust his intuition. Both of them were unpredictable, explosive fighters, and Lal enjoyed the sparring bouts thoroughly. She trained him in close quarters combat too, with knives and smaller pistols, and he was relatively adapt at it, although he was definitely better with rifles._

_Then one day, he was declared fit to go onto the battlefield. His batch mates were still attempting to master rifles and were impressed by the fact that he would be going on an actual mission. He just smiled and complimented Lal, which made her punch him and blush._

_The day of the mission arrived, and there was no fanfare or whatsoever about it. She went to see him off, not doing anything, just standing, arms crossed, and coldly reminding him of some things that he needed work on. "Hah, you really are a cold instructor. You could at least try saying good luck before sending me to the battlefield. That can make your student pretty damn happy, you know," he told her at the gates, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "And why should I?" She rebuked, and he grinned. "Well, for all you know, I might die, and that luck might give me the chance to pull through..." She scowled at him in reply. "Don't say things like that," she said sharply and he just grinned. Darting in quickly, he kissed her on the lips, lightning fast and butterfly light, walking off before she could kill him. But she just stood, lips slightly parted, still shocked from when he had kissed her, and just stood there like a statue even after he had left and had faded into the distance, until the dinner bell rang and she walked back numbly to the facility. Had she just been kissed... by her student?!_

Tsuna leaves the room and Lal mulls this over, gripping the camouflage-print headcloth tightly in her hands. "I can't," she decides and shuts her eyes, letting the memories wash over her like water, calming her down, like the tranquil rain he is.

_XXX_

_XXX_

_"Loving him was red_

_Losing him was blue like I'd never known_  
_Missing him was dark gray all alone _

_Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met"_

_Flashback_ _COMBUSIN 2_

_The fool had returned injured from protecting a comrade on the mission, but had somehow made it back alive and didn't blow the entire team's cover, plus killed the entire team of pursuiting soldiers, and sort-of completed the mission, which was to be a decoy group and gave the main attacking force a chance to attack. Receiving the report, she was both furious at his rash actions, grateful to his stupid luck and pleased that he had completed his mission successfully. But still, the anger and his problems came first. "If you have to leave a comrade behind cuz he's injured, leave him! You're no use to anybody dead!" She shouted first when she visited him at the hospital wing, where he was being treated. The medical facilities at the front line wasn't too good, but his wounds didn't worsen, nor did they heal, so he was sent back to take his time recovering. "I survived," he shrugged, putting aside the book he had been reading, and she rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and I have no idea how or why." Sitting down next to him, she picked up his hand and examined his injured fingers. "You won't be able to fight for a few weeks, and no training too," she concluded as she finished her assessment of his injuries. In addition to his hands, he suffered wounds to the stomach after being shot and she pulled back the blanket, unabashed, to examine his wounds. They were healing well, and he was lucky they didn't hit any of his vital organs. "I have no idea where you get that luck of yours," she mumbled and he grinned. "So you'll wish me good luck next time?" His grin widened as she blushed, recalling his kiss, and covered his body with the blanket again, suddenly all too aware of the heat he was radiating. He didn't mention it at all, but it was weighing heavily on her mind. Such a thing was impossible at COMBUSIN. Exhaling lightly, she made up her mind what to do about him._

_"Lal! Hey, Lal! What's with this? Why did I change my instructor?" He sprinted up to her, yelling loud enough for he whole campus to hear him. "I requested for it." No use trying to lie, she decided, and he slowed, face a mix of confusion, fear and worry, slowly giving way to anger. "I'm not good enough for your standards or something? I can work, I can improve!" He exclaimed, and she shook her head, her hands crossed at her chest. "It isn't about that. You're good, better than I could ever have hoped for," she smiled bitterly, and he suddenly understood. He wasn't stupid, after all. "Did I break a rule doing that?" He demanded and she shook her head. "Not that I know of. But it can't continue, Colonello. Just because it isn't a rule doesn't mean it isn't frowned upon," she reasoned and his expression changed to one of intense sadness. "Okay then, if Lal says so." His sad blue gaze etched itself into her mind but she shook it off, turning and leaving before her mask could shatter. She could feel his gaze boring into her back even as she left, but she was determined to get to her room before anything else. She finally figured it out, what she felt for him, and it wasn't something she should be feeling. It would be a good break for her, and for her to continue to train and strengthen both her body and her heart. She couldn't let such a trivial emotion get to her. She was Lal Mirch, for Fuck's sake! Swearing as she plopped down onto her bunk, she brushed him aside and all other feelings she felt for him, including one that would probably be the death of her._ _**Love.**_

_Easier said than done. He was there, he was everywhere, talking and laughing to his friends, eating his lunch, cracking jokes, wherever she went, she couldn't escape him. Go to the training grounds, and he was there, training. Go to the shooting grounds, and he was there, helping his friends along since he was already a master. Go to the canteen, and he was laughing with his friends, eating happily. Dammit, she just couldn't get away from him, could she? He seemed bored, too, from what she noticed about him, bored of the curriculum that he was doing. He hungered to learn more and be stretched more to his limits, and she was the only one who could bring it out in him. But she didn't want to, all because of those damned feelings of hers and his._

_Finally, one day, three months later, when she is about to burst, she is sent on a mission. It is a good break away from him, and she kept her mind on nothing but completing the mission. It went very well but when she returned, she saw him chatting, in the canteen, with another girl. Immediately, she turned tail and ran. That girl was one of the administrative officers, a new one, pretty, with large breasts and perfect features._

_"Lal? Hey! You're back!" She heard him as she ran around the corner, but increased her speed and sprinted off. "Lal? What's wrong? Why are you-" "Shut up! Why don't you go continue flirting with your new girlfriend?" Lal snapped back, not even turning her head as she dashed around the corner. "Huh? You mean Lily? She's not my girlfriend, I was asking her when you'd be back! Didn't think you'd be back so early, hey!" He exclaimed almost happily, which irked Lal both because he was catching up with her but also because of the fact that he was asking about her. "What does all that have to do with me?" She demanded, finally looking back, and Colonello grinned. "Why of course, hey! Can't a student be concerned about his ex-instructor?" He caught up to her then, and she reached out a hand to slap him across the face. Catching her hand, he pulled her in close, his blue gaze twinkling with a strange amusement._

_"Oh, is our Lal jealous, now?" He teased, and just like that, he hit the jackpot and Lal's cheeks flamed bright red. "I'm not jealous! Why would I be?" She stammered, and he grinned, pulling her in even closer to him. "Just cos I'm talking to others doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you, you know!" He leaned down towards her, and she felt the warmth radiating from him, especially from his lips. Closing her eyes, she braves herself for what was coming, but was instead swept off her feet, bridal style, and carried into a room just opposite where they were. "Lucky this was near my room," he told her as he set her down on his bed, which had camouflage-print bed sheets but a blue pillow and blanket. Looking around, Lal realized she hadn't once been to his room, and scanned the room with curious eyes._

_Much like her own, it was the standard-size bedroom, except that hers was more generic with all blue bed sheets and blankets and nothing personal except her clothes and weapons in the room. His had pictures of scenery that she recognized from all over Italy, a picture of him and herself, at which she blinked at in shock, and his weapons and clothes were strewn all over the table and nightstand. He even had a shirt thrown over the back of the chair. "Are you still afraid of breaking the rules?" His voice jerked her out of her musings about his room, and she sighed._

_"Did you miss me? You looked so lethargic every time I saw you, hey!" He looked her over with concerned eyes and her cheeks flamed bright red again. "Who would miss you?" She rebuked sharply and he grinned. "But honestly, did you?" He was so goddamn persistent, she wanted to kill him sometimes._

_After a long silence, she finally admitted what she should. "Yeah, I did." He grinned and took her into his arms, and she didn't try to resist. He was so warm, so comfortable, she could just lie there, her head against his chest, for, we'll, forever. "Change your mind about breaking the rules yet?" He murmured softly and she smiled wryly. "They aren't rules." "Oh? Then that's good. We won't be breaking any," he smiled down at her and lifted her head, kissing her softly, gently, enough for her to melt against him, unable to resist. "Mmm... I'm tired..." She mumbled when they seperated and he moved them around such that they were both lying down, his arm behind her head like a pillow. "Lal, just one last thing. Do you love me?" She blinked sleepily and smiled, her eyes slipping shut. "Insecure, mmm, Colonello? Don't worry, I love you, 3" she smiled as his lips covered hers again, this time his tongue darting out to gently part her lips as the two of them Frenched thoroughly, her almost falling asleep. Damn, he was a good kisser, she thought groggily as his lips left hers. "I love you too," he whispered, leaving a lingering smile on her lips before she fell asleep._

"Hey, kora! What are you thinking about now?" He sits down next to her on the rooftop. Strange how he can be so happy after losing in the representative war, she thinks, and she replies almost absently: "The first time you told me you loved me." He chuckles at that, and takes her grubby hand in his. "I still do, you know that, kora!" he grins and she snorts. As if she will do that. He had a strange motive for the Arcobaleno war, which wa her. Why is he willing to go to such lengths to get rid of her curse, she wonders? Then, in hindsight, she'd probably do the same for him, and she chuckles to herself wryly.

"Have you ever thought of jumping?" he asks suddenly and points towards the ground. "What? No," Lal shakes her head and he grins.

"Good."  
"Why do you ask?"  
"Nothing, kora!"  
"Shut up, I know when you're lying."  
"Nah, I just thought... Nothing, kora!"  
"Again with that."  
"What that, kora?"  
"Ahhh, never mind. You're hopeless."

She gets up to leave and his grin vanishes, getting up too. "I'm sorry about not being able to solve your curse," he smiles rather sadly. "What are you talking about? If my curse got released and you were still a midget, it's useless," she smiles wryly. "But then again, you being shorter doesn't seem like a bad idea..." she grins and he grins back, but sobers up almost immediately. "Well then, when this ends... I have a request, kora, no matter whether the curse is released or not, kora." He turns and withdraws a box from his pocket. Her heart stops momentarily and he grins. "Marry me, kora?"

_XXX_

_Cuz loving him was red, a burning red_  
_And after all he's spinning around in my head comes back to me burning red_

"That, is the suckiest love confession or proposal I have ever heard," Reborn raises an eyebrow, unimpressed by the two. "No one asked for your opinion, Reborn," Lal rolls her eyes and ignores him, her thumb smoothing over the cool stone embedded in the ring. "Babies shouldn't talk like that..." Tsuna mumbles as he digs into his food. Lal, Colonello and Reborn are staying at his place until the wedding and as usual, were wrecking his house despite Colonello and Reborn being infants. "Eat up~" Nana smiles cheerily at the four of them and gives them all second servings, Colonello and Reborn included. "Thanks, kora!" Colonello grins and continues on his meal.

It is all so awfully, carelessly normal, Lal is slightly surprised. Not really, though. She _**is **_about to marry an infant, albeit him going to be a normal, ageing infant, instead of a never ageing infant. After all the wars and her conflicting feelings and her tears, he had proposed and she had accepted. She concludes that she is crazy. Who marries an infant?! But Colonello didn't find anything amiss about it, so she doesn't complain. At least he'll age. But the fact that she'll probably die before him isn't too perfect either. But life isn't perfect, right? Though it's about as perfect as it can get as of now.

She should be able to get some peace into her life now. _**Should. **_

XXX

_Cuz love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street_

He had disappeared. FREAKING DISAPPEARED. One week before the wedding, he disappeared. "Where the fuck is that bastard?" Lal hissed, striding around Tsuna's room in unmatched fury and anxiety. "Colonello isn't the type to run away," Tsuna pointed out rather meekly and worriedly. "I know that! He wasn't shot by the ten-year-bazooka either, so where the fuck did he go?" Swearing violently and loudly, Lal harrumphed and plonked herself down with unnecessary force onto one of Tsuna's chairs.

"Relax, he's gone to settle some business. He said he'd be back within the week," Reborn entered the room with those calm words, showing them a note that Colonello had left on the counter. "Why did that show up only two days after he left?" Tsuna wondered and Reborn grinned. "I found it on the first day, thought it'd be fun to make you worry a little," Reborn smiled, and Tsuna crept away from the fuming Lal in apprehension.

"Ah, forget it," Lal let out a puff of breath and lay her head back, staring at the ceiling and trying to ignore Tsuna's pathetic screams as Reborn threatened to shoot him if he didn't get his practise questions correct. Everything was just so, pathetically, _**normal. **_She wasn't sure if she liked it that way, though she certainly deserved it after all that she had been put through. And Colonello would and should come back within the week, or else he'd face her wrath, and he probably knew that. The only problem was where he was. "Urgh, the freaking bastard," she muttered before sitting down properly at last and crossing her arms over her chest. She'd wait for him. What else could she do?

He returned two days later, with a huge, idiotic and self-satisfied grin, which she quickly punched off his face. "What was that for, kora?" he pouted, rubbing his chin anxiously and tugging at his clothes in an odd, nervous way. Only then did Lal notice the (sort of) pleasant change.

"Colonello?!" Tsuna's eyes bugged out of his head as he joined Lal at the door. "You're big!" Tsuna stammered as he stood, frozen, staring at the ex-rain arcobaleno.

"Yup, released cuz of Checker-face, kora!" His grin was back in place, wide and happy, and he pulled the still stunned Lal into a hug.

"What are you doing?" she smacked him and shoved him away, blushing hotly, and he grinned, not offended, and reminded her that they were engaged anyway.

"Uhhh... You're at the front door..." Tsuna reminded Lal and Colonello nervously but they ignored him and started kissing anyway. Damn, it had been too long since she had last kissed him (infants don't kiss on a general rule) and she missed him, his warmth, his comforting embrace, his lips, and well, everything. Finding herself smiling involuntarily into the kiss, she relaxed properly into him, and he smiled, his blue eyes warm as he held her close.

"Ooh, and who's this?" the front door opened behind them and they seperated rather reluctantly as Nana returned from buying the groceries.

"He's Colonello," Reborn cut in and Nana laughed. "You sure have grown in the few days you were away! Well, there's soup and fish for dinner, and stay as long as you like!" she smiled cheerily and stepped past them into the kitchen.

"Wow, she took that easily, kora," Colonello blinked, then shrugged it off while Tsuna turned tail and ran straight up the stairs to avoid the couple and his home tutor.

"Looks like Tsunayoshi is still an innocent brat," Lal grinned and Colonello laughed, while Reborn's eyes glimmered with amusement as he followed Tsuna upstairs.

"Speaking of which, Colonello-san, how did you find Checker-face?" Tsuna asked the question that they had all been wondering about and all eyes swivelled to Colonello as he shrugged and passed Reborn a piece of paper. "He's still there, at the shop where you found him in the future, kora. If you complete some tasks for him, he'll help you with curse release, kora! All I had to do was kill off some family, kora," Colonello shrugged and Tsuna blanched. It was not a simple matter to just 'kill off some family'.

"Then I'll be going. I'll be taking leave, Tsuna," Reborn grinned darkly from under the brim of his hat as he left the room. "Ehhhhh? Reborn, where are you going?!" Tsuna jumped up to follow the hitman, leaving the room as well.

"Reborn, that sneaky bastard," Colonello mused as he wondered what he would make Tsuna do. Lal relaxed against him, his arms wrapped around her as the two of them sat in a comfortable, complaniable silence.

Lal smiled. She could get used to this normality. Finally, she'd be able to get her peace and quiet.

XXX

Annnnnd END :D this is my longest oneshot ever (9k+ words O.O) and one of the longest chaps I've ever written too! Thanks for reading! Fluff overload /

I beta-d it myself, so there might be some errors here and there~


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